Dieting - whatever that might be - gets plenty of press. If we're counting slebs' respective column inches I don't know who'd win but I'm willing to put money on the notion that weight gain and weight loss would trump VB mentions many times over.
I've pretty much always felt I need to be slimmer. The funny thing about that is, over time, the only thing I have actually become is larger, so I may as well not have bothered lusting after a slimmer self. Right now, I'd give anything to have the figure I had around my second year of university but I can remember being in a blind panic about having to wear certain costumes for certain performances at that time and it just seems sad that no matter what my body shape I have always thought it wasn't good enough.
The problem, I think, with trying to lose weight is that you already feel you've failed before you've started. It's a bit like New Year's Resolutions - in making them you must acknowledge fault or failure and so if you start with a negative, mentally, you are only going to fall further into the minus. In telling myself my eating habits must change, the message I am subconsciously receiving is "you're a big fat pig who eats too much, you've done it all wrong and you should be better." Not great for anyone, even worse for me who would rather ignore failings than admit I am less than perfect. Yuh, it's not my best trait.
So now I am changing the way I think. At least, I hope I am. I haven't failed or done anything essentially wrong in putting on weight - I just have to eat less than some people in order to look the way I want to look. Being hungry isn't great but I want to feel better about myself and losing a few lbs is something I can do. Fingers crossed I don't lose it from the, er, decolletage...
6 comments:
Thank you for the link. I think you write beautifully. LLG xx
I came across your blog from Liberty London, and this post (which is the first I've read so far) is ensuring I keep on reading.
I know exactly what you mean by fretting about losing weight, only to find a few years later that I've gained some and wish I hadn't been so worried about it a few years back. It's a silly cycle, and I'm all with you and for you on thinking more positively and taking action (which is always the hardest part). I sometimes find I have the same at-fault perspective when I go about these fashion blogs (not skinny enough, not fashionable enough), when, instead of feeling bad, my mind just has to do a bit of a switch and I should pick up and exercise/wear that outfit/what have you.
And now I'll continue reading through your archives for a good long while.
My god- this is so true- exactly how I feel too!
My opinion is that whatever age you are, it's all downhill from here, so we should cherish how we look even if we think it isn't perfect.
I still look back on photos of me at 22 and i could kick myself for thinking i was fat back then. Ridiculous!
x
Hear, hear- I got led here from LLG's too, and I'm grateful for it...
I reckon the good way could be to start with what you do like about your body, and think of exercise as a way of keeping that good, instead of 'improving' aspects that you don't like. But I do find it annoying that girls of our generation get bombarded with so many 'be slimmer' messages- it's always 'get the perfect bikini body', what's wrong with having a body that looks good in a dress instead?
Sorry, I ranted.
Don't sweat cake! Or rather do - if you have a peak then don't worry just go for a walk or skip, learn to do press ups - go dancing. just expand energy. From your photo you look very slim and have nothing to worry about but if a few pounds will ease the pressure and give you a lift - go for it!
right - for one I am guilty of complaining about my body when it was bloody fantastic but I didnt realise it then I had a baby six months ago and now my body has changed so much I realise I never appreciated what I had so I really try to tell all my friends that they look amazing now and to make the most of it!
also, I feel bad for my somewhat fattist attitude, (I hear the booing from a distance) but I have girlfriends that are curvier than what society considers acceptable and I think they look gorgeous but I do hate people who complain about their weight while not finding the will power to do anything about it. after my baby I had to lose some weight and I made myself go the gym and stop eating biscuits for breakfast because sitting on my arse moaning wasnt going to change my life. Just do something about it.
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